Quest to Blogtopia

Warning: Brain Spasm Ahead

Four months into blogging so here’s a little update. Morgan also wrote one from her end as the blog’s creative mastermind.

Google Analytics. Have you heard of it?

If you have, run before it catches up with you. If you haven’t, you’re one lucky dog.

After college I thought:

“Wow, I’m done looking at graphs for the rest of my life. No one needs graphs as an English teacher in Korea.”

I spoke too soon. Now, I have to look at graphs each and every day of my life. Whether it’s to check for 404 errors or seeing that beautiful spike in views. Mostly, I just pretend the 404 errors don’t exist and everything’s perfect in my little blogging world.

Those graphs can be absolutely mind-boggling. Half the time I don’t even know what they’re saying to me. Then I find out that I’ve been using the wrong SEO thing-a-ma-bob and I should be using Google Analytics instead of Jetpack. Almost four months after starting my blog!

Google SEO
SOS

So then I start watching tutorials and there are things like views and properties and test views and more properties and different web links and graphs and errors. Huh!? How is this a beginner tutorial? I need a fetus tutorial, please.

I’m a blogging embryo. My blog was conceived three months ago. It’s still in its first trimester thanks. Finally, after two days of almost falling asleep on Justin and Krista, I figure out how to use it and set up my views and properties. To be honest, I still don’t really understand the whole spiders’ thing. I’m still incredibly confused about the whole reach out and make a spider web and backlinking.

On that note, what is backlinking? Does that mean I link posts from other bloggers on my post?

Also, what are pings and how are they supposed to help me? Every. Single. Time. I look at a “How to promote your blog” blog post, there’s a mention of backlinking and pinging. Why does it sound like I’m out there playing ding-dong-ditch with my blog post on other people blogs?

A few days ago, I found out that the Google Search Console/ Google Analytics got updated. Now, all the tutorials out there are wrong. Well, not wrong… just more difficult to understand because everything is set up completely different on the new update. If I want to figure out which link is broken on my blog, am I supposed to look at behaviour or error or acquisition or conversions? It took me ten minutes just to find the actual section of Analytics that showed me there was an error on my blog!

The New Bloggers Timeline

Help! My lord and saviour Ganesh please help me. It would be even better if Muhammed from the Blogging for New Bloggers Facebook group adopted me and saved my website from crashing into a light-pole and blowing up into smithereens.

Thank God for him. Any time I have a problem with any tech stuff on the blog, I hop on the Blogging for New Bloggers boat and ask Muhammed for some help. He responds in a fat millisecond at any time of the day and helps me solve the problem. I swear I would be in quicksand without him because 90% of the time if I try to google my tech issue I find something completely unrelated. Heaven knows I can’t ask Morgan for help just like she can’t ask me for help on anything remotely creative. If it was left to me I’d put some horrendous colours like hot pink, neon green, and orange together in a zebra pattern.

All this sounds super negative and sounds like I hate my life. In all honesty, the blog is challenging and super exciting. As much as I want to hit my head against a brick wall, I also want to jump up and down in excitement when something works out. Like finally figuring out the Sumo pop-up or coding a little email sign-up message for the blog.

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What’s the most challenging thing you’ve faced while building your blog? Do you have any tips for a newbie blogger? Comment below or email at alieneatingblog@gmail.com. 

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