Finally, after weeks of arguing with schools and principals and gathering the proper documents to just simply go on vacation we are off to Thailand! Finally! Except we’re sitting on the bed an hour before we have to leave and still packing because I’m the but-what-if-I-get-bored-and-want-to-make-slime-on-the-plane type of packer.
Eventually, we make the bus, get to the airport, on our flight and to our layover destination in one piece. Surprising considering my ability to mess up time zones and deadlines fantastically. We got the the layover airport at 9:50 and it closed at 10:00. Ten. minutes. *cue dramatic Pirates of the Caribbean music* So we ran around looking for food hunter-gatherer style for the 11-hour layover ahead because I need snacks at all times. Our rations ended up being two cookies, a half-warm coffee shop panini, some bizarre Tokyo pudding in a glass jar and a warm water bottle. Mmm, airport food.
The airport was dead. I mean this place was an Oreo-box-5-minutes-after-opened style empty, anyone-still here-is-infected style empty, the gas-station-at-the-edge-of-town-at-two-am style empty. You get the point. Now, I was prepared and had made a layover game plan but fifty percent of it was to hunt for cute boys and there were zero! Like so few that you start reducing your standards, y’know.
“Hey that guy cleaning the Burger King wasn’t bad, right? I mean he’s balding but he could get a leather jacket or something.”
“Morgan. He works at Burger King.”
“Yeah but maybe it’s a transition job. He could ride a motorcycle or something,.”
“Morgan…he just spit on the ground!”
I went to the bathroom at one point and when I came out Prachi was in hysterics “Hurry Hurry! NO! You JUST missed him! The hottest guy with big curly hair, he was pushing a garbage can.”
Never to be seen again, goodbye forever one single airport garbage man hot guy.
Anyway, since project Airport Tinder: Live was foiled due to lack of specimens, we found an Ikea furniture set up and just took a nap. This was of course, after our very Korean, very extensive skincare routine: airport edition. Which was pretty much the other fifty percent of my plan anyway.
After a few hours we got bored of that and decided to hunt for more snacks. We stumbled upon a 7/11 which, if you haven’t been to Asia, 7/11 reigns supreme in the fast food world. I’ll have an entire other post about how much I love Asian convenience stores (Update: no I won’t). For now we’ll just say these places are a top dining experience. I of course wanted to buy everything, I was in convenience store heaven. Prachi’s boring and made me choose only one thing and a snack so we got some frozen beef and rice, spicy chicken curry, edamame and spicy lobster flavored pringles! How gross and exciting! Then we skipped back to settle back down in our Ikea living room.
Umm… just a small insert from Prachi here during the final proofread. I am NOT boring. Excuse me, I’m trying to eat as much Pad Thai and Tom Yung Goong soup as is humanly possible. Not those whack-o lobster pringles we had. My goal is to poop more than my weight because of the street-food I’ve consumed.
(Update: doesn’t look like there was a final proofread)
We finally boarded our plane and made it to Phuket after what seemed like actual eons and it was the craziest feeling. I don’t mean being in Thailand or the weather or the language change. I mean the people! This place was the epitome of Spring Break. Old people with fanny packs, sunglasses, an unnecessarily huge beach bag probably full of medical supplies and a big dumb grin. Girls in cut-offs and a bikini top with a full face of makeup because obviously their not going to actually swim. People dressed like Ace Ventura to people who looked like they were from a nudist colony and were only wearing clothes because they wouldn’t be allowed on the plane if they didn’t.
I swear this airport was strictly off limits for anyone who wasn’t retiring there or didn’t yell “Lads on holiday!” or “Spring break bitches!” in a group the size of a small platoon, half-naked while downing margaritas at 10 am. It was chaotic, cringe-y and perfect. It was beautiful, my Spring Break dream come true. Mostly because I was just going to laugh at all these people later when they’re falling over blasted and ….wait…that’s going to be me. Minus the cult-y chanting.
So we’ve arrived. And with only minor mishaps! Check out this, this, and this (cause I don’t know how to do drop downs yet) blog posts to read about our time in Thailand. And this post to hear about how we tried getting home with thousands of mishaps.
Update: It’s Morgan from the future. Sorry for the cringe-fest but we have to keep it to see how we far we’ve come since this. Also, it just makes us laugh.
What’s the worst travel mishap you’ve encountered? Have you seen a wild animal at the airport? Survived a massive plane crash? Let us know in the comments below or at firstname.lastname@example.org