Where do I even start with this story…? I went to the Grand Palace two days in a row. TWO. And she is NOT cheap. At five hundred Baht (roughly $15 USD) as the ticketed price for foreigners, it kind of put a dent into my food inhalation budget, y’know? Do any of you even know how many Pad Thais and Jagerbomb buckets you can buy for one thousand Baht?? A LOT.
But to get back to the point, let me just tell you about attempt 1 of 2. Attempt 2 was pretty successful so we’ll just focus on Attempt 1: Hurricane edition. Literally. Just imagine, beautiful breeze, tropical trees; sun’s out buns out kind of weather. I’ve had my daily dose of coconut water, pooped for an hour after eating street-food , and the back sweat situation is REAL. I make my way to THE Palace, buy my FIVE hundred Baht ticket (click here for an exclusive deal available only today), and make my way into the Palace. And I swear to the many faced God and all two bazillion Hindu gods. IT. STARTS. RAINING.
And I’m not talking about light summer rains or some warm sun showers. I’m talking… THE HEAVENS ARE COLLAPSING AND I’M GOING TO BE STRUCK BY LIGHTENING TYPE OF HURRICANE. Within seconds my white shirt was soaked through (because being a foreigner isn’t enough of a show), I was about shin-deep in water and standing under an open walkway type area that surrounded the perimeter of the “guest house” of the Palace. There was lightening hitting the Palace and I swear to God I jumped out of my skin more than 50 times. Zeus had bopped right out of Olympus so fast to recharge his lightening bolt or some shit.
At some point in time, the rain slowed down and I thought “Hey, the rain looks like its slowing down. Let’s go out and take a look at as much as I can before this place closes.” So I go out, stroll around for a bit, look at the tiny marble elephants, climb up some stairs, climb down some stairs, almost fall down some beautiful but VERY dangerously slippery marble stairs. I guess you could say… I could have been a marble for a day. Get it? Cause marbles… I would have been the marble … rolling down the marble stairs…(Morganne’s going to kill me for this punniness).
Of course, luck just was not on my side on that day because as quickly as it stopped raining, it started raining cats-dogs-pigs-cows and any other animal you can think of just as quickly. At that point it was about 15-20 minutes until the Palace closed and I figured if it was going to continue raining, I might as well beat the crowd for the taxi and make my way back to the hostel.
Thank heavens, the repeat trip the next day was absolutely worth it and the Palace was INCREDULOUS. Like people actually lived there. Actual human beings. People that lived and breathed and farted and had boogers. I swear their broom closet was probably bigger than my entire apartment. They probably didn’t even have a broom closet. They had a literal broom MALL. That being said, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything that was so elaborate and jaw-droppingly beautiful.
Evaluation: Definitely a must visit for anyone out there. Just… not when a Nerf Super Soaker is blasting its way through Bangkok. Definitely a solid 10/10 experience.
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Have you been to the Grand Palace? Ever had a monsoon destroy one of your vacations? Let us know in the comments below or email us at firstname.lastname@example.org!