Long-haul flights usually leave me feeling like a crispy cracker that’s been left out in the sun for ten hours too long. Thankfully, I’ve learned some tricks to make life a little bit more bearable during a long-haul flight. What a complaint right? Lucky enough to travel and here I am complaining about being a migratory saltine.
Since I’m such a generous and kind human being, I’ll drop a knowledge-bomb of flight advice. There’s nothing worse than feeling like an old shoe during an 18-hour flight when your personal space is about the size of a cereal box.
I’m talking those small, mini cereal boxes that come in a variety 6-pack. What did you think you bought? A first-class ticket to a Costco-sized cereal box of personal space? As if!
1. Blankets. Blankets. You guessed it. More blankets!
I swear those rags, that airlines lovingly like to call blankets, are the absolute worst. What could go wrong with a flimsy candy wrapper of a blanket!?
You’re totally going to be warm with only a sixteenth of your body covered. So cozy I swear you’ll even contemplate stealing it.
A long-haul flight is an exclusive BYOB (Bring Your Own Blanket) event. Preferably something small and fuzzy. There’s nothing like doubling up on a candy wrapper and fuzzy blanket to keep you warm.
If you know anything about me, which you don’t, you’ll know that I love multi-purpose things. And a blanket in your carry-on is definitely on my list of “All Things That Are Multi-purpose”
Airport picnic blanket? Check.
Hiding spot? Check.
2. Re-hydration Guru
Bring an empty thermos or water bottle with you. Then, abuse the damn system and ask the flight attendants to fill it up with water.
I love carrying tea bags too because it’s refreshing, doesn’t give you a sugar high, and leaves you with a warm, cozy feeling.
If tea isn’t your thing, bring hot chocolate and instant coffee! Or paint thinner. Whatever floats your rehydration boat – you should probably skip the paint thinner though.
But don’t try to sneak in some whiskey in that empty bottle, thanks. That’s what the high-quality, free airplane wine is for.
3. Spotted! A Fresh-Faced Queen
When you get off the plane do you really want to look like a raggedy cat? Or do you want to look like an exquisite Elf from Elrond?
Bring your skincare. I should have a fat megaphone to say this out loud – BRING. YOUR. SKINCARE. Otherwise, your skin’s going to look like a Megadeath concert in action.
I swear a cool sheet mask, a clean face, and minty breath on the plane is a Godsend, even though I look like a hobgoblin while doing it.
My number one tip though is to bring a face spray, whether it be water, rose water, tea tree oil, or wiper fluid. It’s refreshing, cooling, moisturizing, and a fun activity packaged in one, small convenient bottle. Spritz your face every hour or so and you’ll never regret it.
Just try it once. DO IT. If you don’t like it, I’ll give you a free pair of crocs – jibbitz included.
4. Walk Down the Aisle
But not that kind of walk. Gross. The only person standing on the other end of the aisle should be a pilot in the cockpit.
I mean literally walk down the aisle every hour or so to get that blood a’ flowin’. Trust me on this. Otherwise, you’ll be walking off the plane looking like Big Foot. Swollen feet and tingly toes included.
One time I didn’t go for a plane-garden stroll and my feet were very, very angry. They felt like hot air balloons for two whole weeks. My shoes didn’t fit and I couldn’t walk without feeling like an anthill had sprouted on my feet.
5. Alert: Incoming UTI
Please go pee. Seriously.
Why did you pay $3000 for a painful UTI…? Just go pee.
Don’t feel bad about pushing past those people in the dumb aisle seat. I used to hate doing this before realizing that they chose to sit there. If they don’t like me asking them to get up over and over again, they should’ve picked a different seat.
So save your bladder and go pee!
6. Your feet should look like mothballs.
Warm, fuzzy socks or slippers for the flight are a must!
There are so many reasons to have them in a carry-on. They barely take up any space and keep you warm and cozy! You won’t touch the grimy plane floor this way and you’ll even be making a chic fashion statement.
Everyone will be staring and wondering where they can snag some fuzzy hot pink zebra striped socks.
There you have it. My favourite things to carry with me on a long-haul flight. You’ll leave the airport feeling like a freshly baked loaf of bread instead of a two-week-old crispy, moldy baguette – 100% satisfaction guaranteed. So take this new knowledge, spread your wings, and don’t fall victim to PFCD (Post Flight Crust Disorder) on your next obnoxiously long flight abroad.
Peace out. Prachi out.
What do you do to make sure your long-haul flight is as comfortable as it can be? Or do you love feeling like a gremlin the entire time? Let me know in the comments or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org!