Packing? More Like Nomadic Hoarding.
It can be the literal bane of anyone’s existence. But I would like to think that after traveling my entire life I’ve been drafted into the NPL. The National Packing League, that is. Not Morgan though. She’s going to be a packing bench-warmer for the rest of her life.
So take it from me, a packing champion. Here are my top-notch, high-quality, Blu-Ray level packing tips and travel must-haves for a weekend trip in checklist form.
1. Pack your entire closet
Really. Pack all of it. You need options right? So, pack all 20 t-shirts, 10 jeans, 15 jean shorts and denim skirts, 6 sweaters, 5 winter jackets, and the socks you’ve been wearing for the past two weeks. Who knows? A combined snow-dust storm could hit you with a side of lightning at any time.
Or I guess you could be one of those really boring, logical people that actually checks for good weather and packs properly. Let me guess, you’ll bring:
| 3-4 t-shirts (and a nude tank-top)
| 1 dress (casual and dressy) – optional
| Jeans (that you’ll wear on the way there)
| 1 pair of jean shorts and/or a denim skirt
| A light sweater or jacket
| Comfy sleeping clothes
| 2 pairs of socks
| sunglasses and a purse
2. Forget your source of entertainment.
Activities are overrated so you should forget about them right now. What are you – five?
The wiser decision is staring off into the abyss contemplating all of your life decisions, wondering why you’re a single, unsuccessful lonely 20-something. That’s the way to go, I promise. You won’t regret that decision at all.
Or be a less evolved simpleton and bring your:
| headphones (and headphone splitters to spread the entertainment with your simpleton friends)
| cellphone (easier to forget than you think)
| a fully charged battery pack (and cord)
| a pack of cards
| a soggy Subway sandwich (that everyone definitely wants to see you feasting on like a goblin)
3. Leave your house a ransacked mess.
Before you leave, make sure you trash your house like a frat party swept through it. This is an absolute must. Red solo cups on all surfaces. Moldy food in the fridge. Dirty dishes in the sink. Wet clothes in the washer. You name it. Who doesn’t want to come to a house that smells like the sewage?
Or be one of those creepy overachieving Type A neat freaks that double-triple-quadruple checks to make sure:
| there’s no laundry in the washer (Mildew Central called – they want their mildew back.)
| the heater, gas, and power strips are off (unless you want to be homeless – then don’t bother checking)
| the fridge is clear of perishables
| you do the dishes (or you could call 1-800-CRITTERS-NOW)
| the bed is made (to make the squatters feel at home)
4. Don’t bother with hygiene and underwear.
This is a travel hack I swear by. Not only is it a luxury I can’t afford, not carrying these extravagant items also saves me space, time, and energy. Who needs Colgate teeth and a fresh smelling bod when I could smell like a walking-talking boys locker room?
Or if you’re one of those high-flying first-class travelers, bring:
| a toothbrush (or your finger works too)
| hairbrush/ comb
| deodorant (preferably Axe so everyone knows you’re a pre-pubescent boy)
| make-up (for that freshly frosted cake look)
| skincare (unless you want to look like a crusty gremlin)
So, there you have it. My top secret packing and travel tips I’ve learned since being drafted into the NPL. In all seriousness, the biggest thing is making sure our house is clean and good to go. There’s really nothing worse than coming back to a dirty, messy house after a whole weekend of traveling. Except of course zero food in the house, save for a moldy apple and fishy ramen.
Peace out. Prachi out.
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What are some of your A++ packing tips and tricks? And do you just leave your bag on the floor for a month after coming back from a trip or is that just me? Let me know in the comments or email me at email@example.com!