Quest to Blogtopia

Help! I’m Drowning in Blog-sand.

There are good days blogging where you’re just on fire. You pump out five posts, make a new header, create a new logo, write some guest posts, re-pin a bunch of Pinterest-y things, promote your posts, and even… COMMENT ON 50 THREADS. You sit there feeling like you’re on the top of the world and nothing can bring you down. I mean you start looking at your vision board and thinking about the day you’re going to be on Forbes 30 under 30 or have that little blue “verified” check beside your name.

Then… there are days like today… where NOTHING is going right. It’s one step forward and fifty steps back. You can’t figure anything out, your Pinterest-y pins are looking more like a middle school dance poster and you can’t figure out what “Rich Pins” are for the life of you. Also, what on earth are Meta Tags?! And how is Pinterest different from Google? And why do I need a Yoast? And why is WordPress dot com so SUCKY!?

For heaven’s sake, I can’t even make a drop-down menu without losing my mind! Or figure out why my pictures aren’t downloading! Excuse me, I clicked the download button a bazillion times.

And why are the pictures so blurry on Canva today?! They were literally perfect yesterday, when I made 10 other pins! And why won’t that dumb line move over that 1mm?! Blue and yellow looked beautiful and fantastical yesterday, so why does it look like someone puked jersey colours on my screen today?

Also, why isn’t there a more concise explanation on “How to Use Pinterest for Noobs”!? I didn’t even know the words board, pin, and re-pin until like 10 hours ago – when I sat down at this PC room. I swear if I see another “10 creative ways to increase your Pinterest traffic” post instead of the information I actually want, (which is the most basic form of: “How do I Pinterest?”) I’m going to bash my head into the computer!

To add on that, this PC room. Let me just tell you about it. It’s a… place alright.

For some God forsaken reason, there’s an extremely bone-chilling breeze blowing through the room. Am I in the Arctic Tundra people!? There’s also this fishy, salty smell that keeps wafting around the room because these boys keep ordering bizarre seafood-y ramens! And those same boys are playing PUBG which is great and all but there are quality ass headphones provided to us all FOR A REASON. Turn your computer sound off thank you very much. I did NOT ask to hear gunshot sounds and big explosion noises as part of my PC room-ing experience (sir) thank you! And stop screaming so loud, I mean enjoy the game by all means but do you need to scream curse words and bang on the keyboard every 25 seconds!?

I’m TRYING to be a billionaire thank you!

And why is the Internet so slow?! I didn’t pay to be here for Internet as slow as my weight loss journey! I’m here to build a business and have a good time and share the good times – NOT bad times. We’re literally supposed to be a “passport to a good time”. And today’s “work shift” has only been a one way ticket to a bad, bad time. I couldn’t even watch Seth Rogan’s Hilarity for a Charity during our self induced break without falling asleep – even during the epic Sasha Baron Cohen sequence. Huh!? What is wrong with me!?

I mean I should really just give up right now before I dig an even bigger grave for myself.  I should just stop and apply for grad school. It would make my life a hell of a lot easier. I could just go to a boring 9-5 job where I go and do the same thing day in and day out until I retire. Then I can sit on my old-people Lazy Boy recliner and pine over the things that “could’ve been” but nooo… I decided to become a BLOGGER. Out of all things, I decided to become self-employed where I have to market myself. Excuse me, I can’t even sell my dumb old winter clothes to people online and you want me to sell my apparently funny writing to people!?

Well. If there’s ever a time to do it, it’s now. And why not try, right? I committed myself to a year of hard work so I’m going to keep trucking along for one year. Whether or not I break my brain a few times. Wish me luck on my very impossible endeavor.

Morgan wrote her bit on this horrendous debacle as well. So head on over to see what was going on in her brain – if she even has one.

Peace out. Prachi out.

Pin it for a surprise cupcake!

 

-x-

Read about Morgan’s blogging brain-fart too! 

What’s the most dreadful blogging experience you’ve ever had? Did you drown your sorrows in a bag of Cheetos like I did? Let me know in the comments or email me at alieneatingblog@gmail.com.

 

7 Comments

  • Yvee

    Omg I can relate so much to “blog-sand”! So much relevance on so many levels! (I’m a super newbie blogger and the drowning in blog-sand feels are SO REAL.)
    Your blog is so looking beautiful though girls! Definitely going to be following along with your adventures!

    • alieneating

      Hahaha, blogging is so fun and terrifying at the same time. Like… am I just getting myself into something that’s going to end up being a waste of time…??

      I’m glad you enjoyed our post! We really wanted to show that it isn’t just about writing a blog post and throwing it out there. Hoping the world will magically see it and we’ll become instantly famous!

  • Vox

    I have been blogging for the past year and am finally quitting my job to blog full time, so I can relate to your “blog-sand” experience. And, like you, I have decided that if I don’t do it now, then I will find myself regretting not doing what makes my heart sing. The best part of your rant is the fact that it only happens occasionally and it seems like you’re being super productive all the rest of the time…. Good luck to you!

  • Mary Barbour

    You can take some solace in the fact that your post has pointed aout novice blogger like myself in the right direction… I don’t even have a Pinterest set up yet! Keep on keeping on friend 😊

  • Teja

    LOL!! Two words: domain change.

    Not as hard as I feared, but still…

    And I’ve forgotten again how to code nofollow links. Sigh. But hey, it’s all experience right?

  • Shelley

    Haha, I feel ya girl – only I started blogging 6 years ago, and am only NOW starting to learn and implement these things, so you’re way ahead of the game. My advice – get off of .com as soon as possible and onto .org before your blog takes on a life of its own. I just migrated 400 posts and it’s a literal nightmare, thinking about writing metatags and doing proper SEO now…

    • alieneating

      Omg I’m sending you an an actual gift basket filled with cupcakes, chocolate, and a thousand dollars. I can’t even imagine the nightmare you’re living. Morgan and I have already gotten into the stupidest arguments because we’re so frustrated and stressed out that nothing is going right. Good luck!! 🙂 I’m sure it will all be worth it in the end!

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