Thailand has just over 68 million people, and all those people have things to do and people to see. So they all need a way to get there and the best way in Bangkok is by a little motorcycle/scooter situation. If you don’t own one, you can take a motoTAXI. Just hop on a strange mans motorcycle and off you go! These guys zip in and out and around and above and under cars at lightning speed. WHAT WORLD IS THIS?!
Let me just tell you the things I saw people doing on these motortaxis. Because they do everything short of cooking a meal.
- Women with 7 massive shopping bags holding onto them just sitting sideways zipping through a million cars.
- People holding boxes on their heads while riding
- Women riding sidesaddle doing makeup and rummaging through their purse.
- a kid on the handlebars, a dad (i assume) driving, mom behind dad, kid behind mom and third kid on dads back. Casual Sunday outing.
They don’t even wear helmets, the passengers I mean. The drivers have helmets but screw the passengers of course. It was by far the most impressive thing I’ve seen since Korea’s ability to change a work schedule every hour while your already working it.
This entire situation was horrifying but my need-to-try-everything-once attitude got the better of me. After lots of thought and almost getting on one and then running away to a real taxi, sitting inside and then staring the motortaxis thinking “but it looks so fun” and complaining about how I should’ve just gone. I finally did it! One day the chance just came up and there was a motor taxi station on the sidewalk and the conversation was fast and unclear as always
“Uh …Fortune Town?”
“2 people? Okay okay 100 baht okay? On on, yes, you here, you girl there, sit, now. NOW NOW!”
And before I knew it I was on a motorcycle with some strange old man and watching my friend speed away into the traffic, probably for the last time. Cruising around feeling like the baddest bitch ever like I didn’t almost cry every time I tried to get on one before. Surprisingly it was extremely easy to stay on. But they get sooooo close to the cars that your shoes touch the tires which sounds kind of nauseating but also exciting. I loved it, I wanted to take only the motortaxi everywhere we went.
I was in deep man, I was creating motortaxi goals in my head.
“This time, I’m gonna take a video, okay this time, I’m gonna put on lipgloss, this time, I’m gonna ride side-saddle, this time, I’m gonna try to drive it”
One day while getting our daily motortaxi, somehow, we just both ended up on one taxi scooter! BOTH! ON ONE TAXI! Both Prachi’s double thicc body and my triple thiccc body were on one small scooter with a full grown man. Keep in mind this one was a scooter, the smaller, dumber looking versions of motorcycles. We were so close to one another I could’ve braided our hair and the drivers hair together into one master mega braid.
I could not stop laughing, we didn’t ask to both be on one he just put us on. No cares about safety or if the scooter would even run! Not one thought! The only thought that went through his mind was “whatever”.
That’s how they do it in Thailand I guess.
Just 2 big foreigners and 1 big man sandwiched on a tiny clown scooter cruising around the city cracking up trying not to fall off. It was pure comedic bliss. One of my favorite moments of the entire trip and most hilarious things of my life. Imagine if they had this in America?! Absolutely not! No one would fit! It would be funny though.
To sum it up if you ever find yourself in Bangkok you have got to take a motortaxi, it’s the most efficient and hilarious way to travel and see the city.
See how many of your friends you can get on one bike and let me know at email@example.com or in the comments below! I’ll mail you a signed photo of a motortaxi if you get more than 4 (foreigners, of course)